1. I can’t afford it.
[…you can’t get a bag of elephants for the price of a bag of oranges… said no one ever.]
The salesman in me wants to scream “Can you afford not to?” but that’s not the way we do things here at NOTOX, we like to take it down a notch and explain why our surf boards are worth every cent of your well-earned cash.
Maybe a good way to imagine us is to think of a Tesla, they ARE more expensive but (1) In the long run they make a lot of sense (2) They are better for the environment (3) They are a lot more fun, go fast and are cooler than penguins toes.
2. I don’t like Epoxy boards.
Gentlesurfers, I have news for you. I also dislike Epoxy surfboards. I don’t like the weight, the float and the slap. The best thing people can say about an Epoxy board (from a performance perspective) is “it’s 90% as good as a PU board”, so why not just get a PU board?
We all dislike Epoxy boards, that is established. Why, then do I like NOTOX boards? As I may have mentioned before, it’s all about the FLAX. Adding the naturally grown, sustainably sourced high-qualityFLAX instead of fibreglass creates a natural dampening effect. Essentially it absorbs the extra vibrations giving a softer more ergonomic acoustic feel. We could go into wave harmonics and other suchlike but trust me, I am a salesman, would I lie? It works.
3. I don’t like tree hugging hippies
Great, neither do we. What we are and what you could be is a responsible member of society that likes to surf incredibly beautiful, eco conscious and durable surfboards that don’t cost the earth. They do HELP however save it (the earth) a bit.
Here is a brain flash for you. I have such faith in the performance of these boards, I would buy one just on the performance credentials alone. Never mind the Eco-friendly part or the extra years of surfing you would get out of it. These things rip.
The Tree hugging is optional, and we don’t judge.
4. What’s wrong with good old PU surf boards?
The answer is absolutely nothing. I mean in the same way that there is nothing wrong with paint with lead in it or roofing with asbestos in it. They work okay, it’s just, they are not that healthy for us and the people that make it.
NOTOX boards give off zero carcinogens when being produced thanks to the Bio resin we use and the vac bagging process. These processes not only mean we are killing less people but also make a far stronger end product.
It’s called evolution baby and we are on the right side of it. Kill less people and buy a NOTOX surfboard.
5. What about the shapes? Are they any good?
Boy, so you saved the best reason until last. We have an absolutely stacked line-up when it comes to model choice. Twenty different models are available as standard and that’s before you start tweaking them to you own specs (if you want to).
If you want to ‘tear the bag out of it’ and shred every lip in a fifty-mile radius, grab a NOTOX ‘Vampire’, one of our high-performance models. We have fishes, hybrids, mid-lengths all the way up to the NOTOX ‘Classic’, a nose riding, gliding and trimming machine. There is something for everyone in our line-up.
Bonus Eco Round (Sea Trees)
The ink has just dried on a deal between NOTOX and Sea Trees, an organization that will plant a mangrove for every board that we make. You may be asking why a mangrove? Here are three reasons WHY Mangroves are cool Sea Trees.
- Mangroves protect coastlines and ecosystems from increasingly frequent storms
- Mangroves help increase biological diversity in the ocean
- Mangroves soak up five times more carbon from our atmosphere than a rainforest of the same size.
We are very happy to announce this partnership and to pick up the bill.
It’s an Epoxy and I liked it! Right there, gentle friends are some words I never thought I would say in that order. If you don’t like the opinion of an extremely gifted salesman like me, then check out our customer reviews or ask around.
NOTOXSurfboards: last longer; are better for the planet and tree hugging; absolutely rip; save lives; might make you eat healthier if you follow the above meal plan.
The only question left is, “Can you afford not to?”